I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
