Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
