This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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