just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize