Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
