I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
