dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize