I wannas sexs uuuuu
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
