Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
