I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
