just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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