Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
