My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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