Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
