Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
