i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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