its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
where are you?
Hypothermia
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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