There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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