I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hippo gnu deer
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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