He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
