The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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