carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
