It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am spending my child support on dildos
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
