well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
