A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
