i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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