After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
