Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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