I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Shame - the story of my life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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