I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
