96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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