i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
