I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
