Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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