I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
