I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
please come you make the beer taste better
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
