I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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