apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
