I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
