I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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