We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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