no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
