oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And then he peed in my hair
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