were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
whose ass print is on the piano?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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