Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm bleeding and have questions
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
