her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
