So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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