when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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