I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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