Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize