It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
MIDGETS
????
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
