So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
