oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
