A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
