I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
