If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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