high people should be assigned attendants
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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