i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
