So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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