the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
